Encouraged

Grief is a funny thing.

It resides just below the surface of your emotions most days and then it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. This happened to me on Wednesday evening at McDonald's of all places.

It was one of those nights.
Mark wasn't going to be home for dinner.
I had a meeting after work.
I didn't get the kids picked up from the sitter's until after 5:00.
Dinner was an afterthought, so I decided to take the boys to MickeyD's.

Of course it was crowded at the dinner hour.
Of course we had to wait for our order.
Of course Ryan spilled the ketchup all over the table and seat before we even got our food.
Of course Ryan had a fit when he decided he didn't have enough nuggets.
Of course everyone had to go to the bathroom.

Some of them twice.

In the midst of all this chaos, grief kept rearing its sneaky self at me in several different ways.

First, the only table in the entire restaurant that was available for us to sit and eat was the exact same table that we had sat in the last time we ate inside.
When Mark was away for work.
And my grandmom and pop-pop treated us to dinner.

Next, there was an older gentleman sitting at the table caddy-corner to ours with his grandson.
He wore a hat on his head just like my pop-pop used to: sitting up on top making you want to grab it and push it down. :)

This same gentleman turned himself around in his seat to face me as he was getting ready to leave and looking at my boys, said,
"I give you a lot of credit."
and "I don't know how you do it."

These were both exact word for word things that my pop-pop used to say to me every time I saw him. The only obvious omission was "hon" at the end of the sentence.

I wanted to give this strange sweet man a hug.

It was always such an encouragement when my pop-pop recognized how difficult the job of mom could be sometimes. And not only that he recognized it, but told me he noticed and that he was praying for me.

So, yeah, I sat there in the restaurant and tried to eat my french fries and chicken sandwich through my tears as I remembered my pop-pop.

Later that evening, when I was getting the kids' clothes ready for the next day, I was searching through Evan's sock drawer and of all things, found an M1 grand shell from the day of my pop-pop's funeral [he'd been given a 21 gun salute and my grandmom gave each of my boys a shell to remember].

Why was this keepsake stashed in Evan's sock drawer?
Why did this stranger speak the very same words my pop-pop spoke to me?
Why was the only available table the same one we had sat in together?

I don't know.
But I do know that I needed encouragement and God provided it.

Literacy Coach...

....yes, that's me.

Starting the end of this month, I will be back in a school district as a 3rd & 4th grade literacy coach. I am really excited about the opportunity. ALL of my teaching experience is in 3rd grade and although I've had my masters degree in reading for 7(!) years, I've not used it yet. I feel like this job is the PERFECT fit.

I will be teaching 2 skills groups 2 hours/day and then the rest of my time will be spent supporting the classroom teachers either through co-teaching, modeling, or professional development. My principal seems like a wonderful person to work alongside and the teachers I met in the interview immediately made me feel comfortable.

Remember this post?

Yeah.....well, God was [IS] in control and had something better planned for me all along.

Let's see.....

this job.....is only 20 minutes away from home.
.....gave me credit for my 9 years of teaching experience
.....allows me to use my degree without the stress of having
my own classroom [no report cards, no grading papers]
.....is a $14,000 raise from the last time I was teaching ~ 4 years ago!!
.....allows me to be home when my own kids are home
.....was offered to me after only 1 (!) interview

I DO have mixed emotions about being away from my boys every day. It will be a huge adjustment for all of us. But, at the same time, I think we'll spend the time we have together much more wisely. I feel that God has blessed me with this opportunity and things will work out for the best. Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Well, the good news about my mom has done a complete 180.

Her doctor called her on Friday and said the pathology report came back showing liver cancer that has metastisized from the lung. A second report said that she tested positive for markers for colon cancer. A third report said that 2/3 of the liver biopsies were cancer free.

Needless to say, we are frustrated and confused and distraught.

We know God is in control, but sometimes in our humanity, we fail to rest in His comfort and peace and we let our minds go to the dark valleys of our worst fears.

My sister, Jill, and I had just spoken on the phone on Sunday and had voiced our concerns and fears to each other.

Not five minutes went by when my phone rang. It was Jill. Again.

I answered it. Jill proceeded to tell me how she was watching my niece, Ava, playing with her toys.

Out of the blue, Ava sang, "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do."

Boy, did we need to hear that!
Isn't God good?

If you think of it today, please pray for my mom and dad. They will be seeing an oncologist at University of Pennsylvania. Hopefully, we'll have some answers.

Life is Good

I admit....I have been a blog slacker these last two weeks.

Life has gotten in the way :) and sometimes you just can't bring yourself to blog about it.

BUT, yesterday, there was good news.

My mom FINALLY had her liver biopsy on the six spots found on her liver almost 7 weeks ago and everything came back clear ~ non-malignant, benign, no cancer, zip, zero, zilch ~

PRAISE GOD!

Now we go to the next round of dr. consults, incessant waiting, and testing to find out about the spot on her lung. Which, frankly, isn't something I'm overly worried about.

Yes, it's suspicious ~ but it's small.

Yes, it's in an awkward spot to get to ~ but God's in control.

Funny how something scary like this helps put things in perspective. I've been truly blessed these last few weeks by friends who have told me they are praying for me and my family.

On Monday, my MOPS mentor mom dropped in out of the blue with two beautiful bunches of tulips. They've brightened my kitchen all week long.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for the call from my dad that my mom came out of the biopsy okay, my friend, Andrea, brought over lunch and then straightened up my downstairs while I relayed messages between my dad, my sisters, and my brother.

And then, last night, Mark came home from Pittsburgh [work trip] with Life is Good t-shirts for me and the kids. Nathan got a cement mixer, Ryan got a monkey, and Evan got a soccer player. Daddy sure picked out the perfect shirts for his boys.

Life is good because God is good. :)

Aidan Jeffery McLaughlin

I know that many of you who read my blog might know this already, but for those who don't, I want to introduce you to my nephew, Aidan.

Aidan was born October 8, 2008, only 18 days before his due date.

He was a beautiful baby boy with a perfect little face. He had the cutest little button nose and heart shaped mouth. I'm sure that he would have been just as vivacious as my neice, Ava, his older sister.

Tragically, Aidan Jeffery will never be known on this earth, as the Lord took him to heaven before we could meet him. He died in utero due to an abnormal placenta and my sister, Jill, had to deliver him stillborn. It was one of the saddest days of my life to experience this pain with my sister and brother-in-law. To have to stand by their sides and watch them hold their baby boy who they'll never hear laugh or see run. To only begin to imagine their anguish, and to hopelessly wish to take it all away and make everything alright again. Even this is difficult for me to write, but I wanted to share Aidan's story with you.

Only a week after this happened, Jill and Brian held a beautiful memorial service for Aidan. The number of people who came was a testimony to the wonderful people my sister and brother-in law are. The church was packed ~ standing room only. God was present that night and the gospel was presented in a clear message. Brian shared his thoughts which you can read here. I had the privilege and honor to read Jill's letter to Aidan. Amazingly, I was able to get through the letter coherently. I know this was God's grace.

Almost six weeks have passed and I've watched God's grace fill up and sustain Jill and Brian through their pain and loss. They've had good days and some not-so-good days, but they know that God is leading them through this and will see them through it.

I've never been prouder of my youngest sister. She has taught me so much about faith and love and perserverance in these short weeks that at times has felt like a million years. It is in times like these that you see the strength of family bonds and true friendship. It also in times like this that you reevaluate what's really important in life.

Thank you to all you have been keeping our family in your prayers over this last month. We can literally feel the support you've given us and know that God is in all of this. Please continue to pray for comfort and peace and healing, especially as the holidays are coming. Love to all ~ Amy